Seeking Closure: An American in Italy During the Wake of COVID-19
Mondello, Sicily
It wasn’t suppossed to end this way.
I grew up hearing that people’s greatest fear is death. But I think death is just another word for the unknown. People fear most what they do not understand. I believe this is the root of most of our societal issues we face today. We react to the unknown with fear and fear leads to selfishness, violence, manipulation, misunderstanding, chaos.
People fear most what they do not know, and we can’t judge people for this, it’s natural.
I didn’t quite know what to think when the coronavirus first struck northern Italy and towns I lived near, just a week prior, went into quarantine. As I began watching the news in Palermo, it made me just as informed as it did fearful and uneasy.
First, they canceled school for a week. I spotted a few pedestrians wearing masks during my morning run. My childcare schedule shifted. People were more annoyed than alarmed. My host mom told me one of her work trips to Germany was canceled and people were calling for refunds and the request to book boats were dwindling day by day (she works for a boat rental/trip company). Then we had the one lady infected in Palermo (on holiday with a group from northern Italy) and the city responded in the sweetest way possible.
In my case, being an American in Italy made things even more difficult. It was hard for my host family to respect my decision to contemplate leaving. They didn’t understand what the consequences would be. And neither did I— that was the problem. I struggled with abandoning them during a time they needed my help the most. I struggled to get my point across. My unique circumstance isolated me, and the opinions of others were feeding my brain 24/7 to the point where I didn’t know what to think.
It was my friends who said I was justified either way— that no decision was a wrong one— that helped me the most. And when I was offered financial assistance for my flight back home from a new family friend, I took it as a sign that it was time to go.
My host family didn’t make it easy for me to tell them the news. They didn’t respect my decision. And I get it, they were fearful of the unknown as well and my absence would only make things more difficult for them. I went through waves of assurance of my choice, regret of my choice, sadness over leaving Italy and my new friends, anger for not knowing if I was constantly being manipulated by the news and the opinions of others.
I think you need to hear this. You are justified because there’s so much unknown. This isn’t a black-and-white situation. Don’t perpetuate the fear, but fight the battle of the unknown with justice.
Whether you believe the coronavirus is some fear-induced propaganda or the next global catastrophe, you have every right to do so because we simply do not know.
Although it’s okay not to know what to believe, let’s allow that to unite us instead of forcing us to feel like we have to pick a side. It’s not a time to live in complete trepidation about the future, but it’s not a time to sit back and ignore the news. It’s a time to be a little kinder to people in a world that is causing distance, isolation, and separation.
You might as well grow comfortable with the color gray, because we’re swimming in it.
After hearing and seeing and reading SO MUCH about the coronavirus, I had to share my own opinion about some examples about what is justified and what isn’t.
What is justified:
choosing to stock up on food and supplies because you are battling the unknown
losing sleep about the health and wellbeing of your kids because you are battling the unknown
postponing your trip to Europe because you are battling the unknown
gluing your eyes to the news, trying to understand what is happening and what to believe, all while making sure to check multiple sources because you are battling the unknown
What is not justified:
racism toward people of Asian descent because you are battling the unknown
hitting “repost” without fact-checking from other sources, further perpetuating a fear mentality because you are battling the unknown
giving other people a hard time for making this “too big of a deal” or “not making a big enough deal” because you are battling the unknown
joking about the severity of this virus that has negatively changed the lives of thousands of people
completely ignoring what is happening in the world and choosing to stay ignorant of anything because you are battling the unknown
I found myself struggling, for days, to choose between two sides when there really weren’t any two sides in the first place. There is only us and COVID-19 and a lot of gray in between.
I guess I wrote all this to try and muster up some closure with this whole “buying a one-way to Italy” mentality I had just a couple months ago. This is not the way I thought things would end, but I can choose to let my anger and bitterness take over or I can be thankful for the time I did have and the places I went and the friendships I made… even if I am half-awake in an airport in Rome still wondering what the heck is going on.
I’m choosing to leave Italy because I’m faced with the unknown, and I’d rather be alongside my favorite people who are willing to figure this thing out together (and just to keep things real— I didn’t have health insurance and didn’t want to get quarantined or travel blocked and exceed 90-day limit for the Schengen Area).
It’s a strange time. There’s no arguing with that. Let’s spend it by giving people an extra dollop of grace. Everyone is making sacrifices and everyone is facing new challenges that they weren’t prepared for. Listen to their personal stories and maybe you can find a small way to help. And whatever you believe about this crazy virus, know that you are justified. Because we simply don’t know.
How you can help:
Support businesses in Italy who are almost solely dependent on tourists and the student population. Almost the entire economy of this country is built on tourism and study abroad— and they are struggling right now.
As Sarah, a local creative in Florence, Italy, describes in this post, “If you want to know where to begin and how you can support small businesses, you can start here with some of these links [featured in the post]. Also, check out the hashtags #madeinitaly #madeinflorence or #madein (fill in the city).”
And I know this isn’t just happening it Italy but around the world. Private school teachers aren’t getting paid. Study abroad students are being sent back home and losing all their $$$ in exchange for online classes. Events are getting canceled by the minute. Travel companies and tour group sales are plummeting. A lot of people are worries about their finances. If you have any other ideas on how to help, please comment on this post!
PSA— A few people have reached out and asked if I recommend they cancel their trip to Italy. Guess what? I have no idea! I can help guide you but, as I hope this post articulated, either choice you make is justified. Of course, there are some cities that have already raised the travel warning to a level 4. In addition, always check with airlines because they are canceling flights like crazy, both because of the virus and because of the decline in bookings.
Sources I have been using: